The Night I Took My Life Back

4 min readNov 14, 2021


A Poem of an Addict: facing the feelings I numbed for so long

From birth to now..

I have a story to be told…..

So please everyone sit down as I might be so bold, and ask a moment of your time — I looked up to God, to give me a sign when I felt his loving embrace, I began to cry.

“My loving Father” I said, “Will I fulfill Your will for me before I lay down to die?”

“Your stronger than you think, you just have to try”

I am a recovering addict who once felt doom and one night, not so long ago, I was in my room

feeling like most days lower than low. I pulled my Bible close to me and opened it up real slow..

1 Timothy 6:11 goes, “ But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.”

As I began to sigh, I heard a quiet hiss. As it began to get louder, black darkness filled the room growing into a putrid-smelling abyss.

I heard a chuckle by the door, Satan’s eyes full of loathing and hate said,

that won’t help you, you drug-addicted whore, don’t you hear them laughing?? they smell your sickness and their coming for more.”


As it opened, I stepped aside for Selfish, Mad, Sad, and Pride. The evil look that I got from Mad made me look up at my Father God and said, “You know this is going to get bad”. A shrug of his shoulders was his only reply. I went to sit down and tried not to cry. The bell rang again, when the door opened up and skipping right in was Failure, Hate, Liar, and Sin. Laughing, they all turned to look at me. Failure spoke up and said

your a pathetic NO-BO-DY”! Resentment said, “you look like a walking disease, and as Hate walked by he spit on me…

you should have stayed longer on your knees. But best believe I let everyone know that your easy to break down, and we all keep laughing at how you look, you ugly clown”.

Your family, will never want you in their lives anymore, said a gentle voice, but had a twisted grin their was nothing left on the face of Sin. No eyes, no nose, no ears to hear, but you could always tell when Sin was near. You smelled his putrid breath when he was close by, always whispering, “I wish you would die!”

Too bad you never learned right livin. You make my job easy cause your always sinnin!”

I turned away, right as low-life got into my face, I was about to say something but he said “You think I care what you gotta say you fucked up disgrace.” I looked down at the floor silently pleading, “please please please no more!”

Everything got quiet, I began to feel relieved, then heard a loud cackling, I thought too soon, because in walked Greed. Oh how I abhorred the sight of him with his jaunty walk and his half-cocked grin. “We all know your nothing but show, all that money you had your kids needed you you know, why your the new old hag looking Queen of Low!” With those sick but true words ringing around in my head….

Greed looked at everyone and with a loud voice he said, “Tell me we’ve all agreed she’s better off dead."

All of a sudden a huge light filled the room, I heard nothing but hissing and whispers in this room-like tomb.

I covered my eyes fore the light was so bright and just when I opened them I saw happiness, peace, caring, and right! Oh how I’ve missed them for so long! And that’s when I heard the most beautiful song.

My Mamaw used to sing it to me about my Savior Jesus of Galilee! All my warm-hearted feelings came back to me..

Then the rolling thunderous voice of God said to me, “my beautiful child, come take a knee, we are going to build your strength up just watch and see!”

I looked up at my Father and said “I thank thee, for never leaving my side while I was on this long, horrific, painful ride.”

My Father God said, “It’s time to get up, and get ready for a whole new life. You have to get yourself strong, strong enough to fight-to keep that beautiful light you have inside of you, now maybe your Spirit can finally renew, and stay on the side of what is beautiful, lovely, and true!”

Through crying eyes I looked up above and down from the sky landing on my windowsill was a beautiful white dove…

Guess what her name was?

It Was Love…..




I look around me and see others who are in love with words and wisdom just as much as me. So I've decided to stay. Thank you.. Passion+Progression=Writer